The Modern Wife

Ladies: If married, you are NOT the BOSS at Home!

Taken while I was a presidential appointee in the Obama Administration
Taken while I was a presidential appointee in the Obama Administration

Ok, I’m sure the ladies are ready to tear me off a new one from the title of this post.  But, hold off for a moment and take this journey with me.

As successful women, we have to be a little “extra” to get the promotion, if you work for someone; or get the contract, if you own a business.  And then there’s everything in between that requires us to be aggressive in the business world.  When we are leading a company or a team, we have to exercise that part of us that is a little more straightforward, no-nonsense bravado to let people know we mean business and that we are capable of getting the job done.  Being aggressive, straightforward is perfectly acceptable behavior for women.  So, don’t think I’m taking anything away from what we need to do to be successful, what I’m speaking about is how we need to cut it off when we come home.

Here’s the thing, it’s not easy to do, especially someone like me with a Type A personality!  But, what I realized is that my role as a wife is not a competition, a position for promotion (you were promoted once you said I DO), or a position where I am required to lead.  Whether you make more money or not, our husbands are the head of the household. He leads you and set the vision for the family.  Besides, it can be exhausting being the boss all the time.  But seriously, moving past the part that he’s head of the household, we really have to watch our tone as well.

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Taken during appearance on News One Now w/Roland Martin

My tone is generally upbeat, more happy go lucky.  However, if I’m stressed, have a lot on my plate or pushed up against a deadline, I tend to be more direct/stern in my tone.  As you can imagine, it is quite easy to have that same tone at home with your husband and your kids.  Specifically, that’s not the best tone to take with your husband.  We must be willing to shut down the stresses of work/business and leave them at the door.  Keep a tone that doesn’t sound like a demand of your husband but a request of your husband.  The use of honey spewing from your mouth brings about more of his sweetness and tenderness.  You see, we should want our home to be a place of comfort and peace…for both of us, the husband AND the wife!  Remember that your home and interactions with your husband is a time to bring about joy and peace to your day.  So ladies, when you get home or shut down your home office, leave the Boss Mode and bring on the honey.

Many times our husbands are dealing with their own stress from work or their business, so they just don’t need any more when they are at home.  Ladies, let’s work to make our homes and our presence a place that is so desirable that our husbands literally don’t ever want to leave.  Yes, yes, our husbands should think about how they speak to us when they get home and yes, they can work on being better in a lot of areas.  However a friend of mine once shared with me: “if people were selfless then relationships would be stronger”.  So, instead of staying in a space where you could consistently outline what he’s not doing, be selfless and do your part.  In the end, home life would be much more enjoyable for you and the hubby.

Traditionally Modern ~ That’s My Point of View

One thought on “Ladies: If married, you are NOT the BOSS at Home!

  1. Outstanding! I loved it. It made me as a man feel like there is even more I can do and will do as the head of household in respect and honor to my wife (whenever I get another one, LoL). I think when a woman takes such a stance it will make a good man examine himself to step things up on his part as it relates to her and the atmosphere in the home in terms of his own behavior. Excellent article Dru!

    Liked by 1 person

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